She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
