I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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