How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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