My friends, they love my intelligence
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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