Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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