Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
