Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
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