I cockslap morals
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
