Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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