Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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