NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize