First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
