you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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