You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
