I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
