so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
