we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
