I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
