the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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