Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
