He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You may now shotgun with the bride
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize