THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize