I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
