why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
