Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
