Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize