he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So vagazzling was a success
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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