Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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