After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
