these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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