pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
please come you make the beer taste better
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
