need another drink. this is the easiest way
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
