i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i believe in u and ur pee
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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