Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
