You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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