I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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