White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
