the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
