C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
