My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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