like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The Olympian is in my bed
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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