Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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