if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize