I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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