Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
