I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
