I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
