So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
