He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
