Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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