the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
