is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
