it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
