I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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