Taylor Swift is so right about you.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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