why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
