To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
