Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
