YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
