Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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