I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
