My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
