who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
