her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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