its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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